Put yourself in someone else's shoes

How many times in a day do we think about ourselves. We get caught up in the hustle of our daily lives. I've come to notice a great reality that bad things in life are inevitable. Because, who wants to coast through life anyways? As my mom always says, "that's not living." Our burdens bring us down and don't give us a chance to look towards someone else for love, compassion, or anything outside our own realities. Being on this floor is such a blessing for me. M50, all the nurses, doctors, and patients put a smile on my face everyday. The babies, the younger boys and girls, these are the strongest families I have ever met and probably will ever meet. My friend on this floor is struggling. She is thousands of miles from home battling cancer at the young age of 11. We have become extremely close and right now she isn't doing well. I pray for her and her family everyday and I wish I could take it all away from her. She's giving up mentally and we are the only two that really know what it's like.


Life is such a roller coaster and has so many ups, downs, loops, and secret plans for us and we always sit back and ask why. When one door closes, if we look close enough, we can see 5 more doors opening in it's place to lead us in the right direction. I have  The Scientist by Coldplay on repeat, and there are lyrics that just keep repeating..."nobody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be this hard." Life is hard. challenges face us everyday and my dad always taught me, its not about what happens to us, its how we react to it. We can only control ourselves and thats all that really matters. Getting caught up in ourselves leaves no room for compassion.


For anyone interested, please come visit this beautiful floor of M50, filled with my friends and amazing people who inspire me everyday. Take a walk in their shoes, its a journey I think you would truly enjoy. I have so much more of a deeper perspective on life that I consider myself blessed to have this insight. Smiles, hugs, or just a quick hello can truly brighten someones day. I should be getting out of here sometime tonight or if not tonight, in the morning. I am clearing the methotrexate well, but for once, part of me wants to stay? I am enjoying my time alone, to think, to spend time with people that might need just a simple smile. I think that is something I want to do with my life. Maybe work somewhere in Child Life services, child psychology, or something I could do to help other kids who are in my shoes. Although I am sick of this journey, I have found  home on M50 and someday I won't need to be here every week, but you can bet i'll be visiting plenty. 


Do you ever want to give up? When everything is going wrong? I know I do. We're only human. All I have to say is persevere. giving up isn't an option, too many people care about you. Especially me.