Can only take so much

Hey everybody, here's another another update from my wonderful bed in M50. I checked into M50 yesterday for another Methotrexate admission. This is the last week of my 3rd 5 week cycle, OFFICIALLY HALF WAY DONE! So far it seems to be going smoothly, i didn't feel so great when it was infusing last night, but now I just have fluids and am hoping for a Wednesday evening or Thursday morning discharge.

This past weekend was a really nice break from reality. My best friend Alex who is on the Saintsations at SLU with me flew in for my birthday and we hung with our other best friend Ali who lives on the west side. The three of us were joined at the hip from Thursday morning until yesterday when my mom took Alex back to the hospital. Having time with them is always so special because we never get to be all together, unless we are at school. Although we talk almost everyday, nothing beat the feeling of snuggling up with your best friends who just know how to put a smile on your face. These two girls will be in my life forever and I'm so blessed to know them already. On Saturday, we got our nails done at Legacy and did some shopping with my sister Mackenzie. Then, the four of us headed downtown for  dinner at The Chocolate Bar before walking over to the indians game. My dads office gets a suite for a game every once in awhile so we were surprised with a cake and great friends to enjoy the game with. It was a great evening.

After a nice breakfast yesterday morning at First Watch, Alex really helped talk me through a lot of my struggles. I'm always trying to stay strong and hang in there, but the more that summer passes, I get so bummed thinking I won't be headed to school for another 6 months. Although the end is in sight, I just wish it would come sooner. Laying in this empty hospital room gave me a lot to think about last night and today. I know I should be thankful for the care I am getting but I can't wait to be "normal" again. Things are always changing and I believe they are because they test our strength and our courage to push through. I'm physically worn out from theses consecutive hospital stays, but after next week I have a few week break. My knee gets sore a lot, but theres not much to do but suck it up.
Ugh, I just hate all the anxiety I get when this all builds up. Sometimes it really hits me, cancer...

Thinking of all of you today. When I am fully recovered and done with this, I am going to post a video of me cheerleading at St. Louis, back to where I was, back home.