You're NEVER Alone

Today's post is simply to thank everyone for all the support. I don't have much to report other than I am feeling great. I have, knock on wood, successfully made it through my "susceptible" time of low blood counts, fever free! My bone marrow should be regenerating itself now and my blood counts should be headed back to normal! Just in time for me to be admitted on Wednesday for Methotrexate. Oh the ups and down of chemotherapy...everyday is a different day! 


Listened to this song again recently and I just have to say thank you.


"May the angels protect you, trouble neglect you, And heaven accept you when it's time to go home. May you always have plenty, the glass never empty, And know in your belly, you're never alone.
May your tears come from laughing, you find friends worth having, As every year passes, they mean more than gold. May you win and stay humble, smile more than grumble, And know when you stumble, you're never alone."


I had the privilege of visiting with my cousin and her husband in from out of town which was really great. Congrats to Jenny and Eddie as they are expecting a baby in August! One of my best friends Brennan stopped by last night too and it was great seeing him. My neighbor Sam came over too along with Mackenzie's boyfriend Mark, love you guys. We went up to John Carroll University to see the Luminaria Ceremony at their Relay For Life. 


When my mom told me we were going to go up there, I (selfishly) didn't want to go. Dealing with my cancer is something I still struggle with and being at an event focused on cancer made me nervous. I love and completely support Relay for Life and I am so glad I went because it was somewhat of a mental battle "won" for me. I feel like I kind of came to terms with a lot of things last night and I was so lucky to be surrounded by my family, the John Carroll community, and all of the people who work so hard to raise money for cancer research to find the cure, to help people like me. 


When we got there, bald and thin, I crutched into the crowded gymnasium surrounded by happy upbeat college students and faculty. I was immediately overwhelmed and upset because it was just last year, and previous years, that "healthy" Emily was attending the same ceremony with my mom, and now I barely recognize myself. Its unreal how things change sometimes. The lights went out in the gym and I sat in the dark of my moms office at JCU for a few minutes with my Dad to compose myself. As the ceremony began, there were three testimonials of students who's lives were affected by cancer. I was struggling to keep it together and then the first boy began to speak. His story began all too familiarly. "I was playing basketball when I began to notice knee pain. I needed to get it checked out." A pit developed in my stomach and it felt like the air was being sucked out of me. I was practically listening to my own story. After 2 MRI's and an x-ray, the doctor sat him down and said, "You have cancer. It's called Osteosarcoma." At that point I lost it. He described not being able to walk for 9 months, losing his hair, and the 30 week treatment plan and surgery that he endured, the exact same treatment plan that I am on. He closed his speech with "I will never be able to run or play basketball again, but it's a small price to pay for my life." 


Listening to his specific testimonial and knowing that he made it through, gave me hope. As a slideshow flashed through the dark gymnasium filled with lit candles in little bags, I cried to myself. Watching the names of people who's lives were affected by cancer was devastating and hopeful at the same time. Cancer affects many people, not just the ones diagnosed with the disease. Families, friends, all different circles of life. Then, my name flashed across the screen. "In Honor Of...Emily Elizabeth Evans" I can't really explain the feeling you get when the you see your name on a Relay for Life slideshow. I was deeply touched.


Well, the whole point of this post is to just say "You are never alone." In this fight against cancer, to see so many people come together, it helped me realize I am never alone. The amazing support system that I have and that all of you have, I am confident you can make it through any difficulties in life through prayers, friends, and positivity. I am so blessed to have the outpouring of love and support from so many circles of life. It helps me so much and I just want to say thank you. And, a special thanks goes to all the amazing people at JCU that included my name in the ceremony and for all those that lit luminaries for me. My friends at JCU, Cara down in Charleston, Cheryl at Miami U, Allie at Dennison, all those who have thought of me in your Relay's, thank you. I am so humbled by your support and love.

So whatever your battle, whatever your challenge, please know, you are never alone. Personally, I have to say, whenever you think that no one is thinking about you, please please please know, I am. You are never alone.