Smile in the age of worry

Good Morning, this is Emily's sister Mackenzie. I was put on the job of blogging today with many updates for everyone. First and foremost is the reason you are looking at this page: Emily. She came home  last night and is thankful to be able to rest in her own bed. The pain management is a constant struggle... You know I am not one to sugarcoat anything. Emily is in a lot of pain, indescribable pain that many of us hopefully will never come to know. Her body is adjusting to a foreign metal contraption that has to conform and function as a knee. She is currently on a number of narcotics that have slightly affected her brain's functioning abilities although she would never admit it. She is put together and is her old self but sometimes we know the drugs take over when she becomes ornery or extremely emotional and has an episode. This is not easy for any of us to watch or know how to deal with, but we do our best. Despite the pain and the drugs, Emily is thankful for every second that she is still breathing. Trips to the bathroom have become more difficult than ever... the simple act of Daisy (one of the golden retriever pups) jumping up to say good morning, something she used to love, causes Emily excruciating pain. And we thought she needed assistance before. We were wrong. In fact I am home from school today for the sole reason of being with her and helping her in any way that she needs. She is resting and looks beautiful as always even though some peach fuzz has started to grow on her head. Go Emily. She is the reason I wake up in the morning when I think everything becomes too much for me to handle. She is my best friend and is here for me in ways that only a sister can. It wouldn't be sufficient to just report about her as there is so, so so much else going on for my family right now.


Just this morning, my mom and I trekked up to Gesu and attended my little brother Joe's Thanksgiving Mass (aka Pass it On Mass) in which the graduating eighth graders are honored as they pass on the leadership role to the seventh graders. Joe is the last of us to finish through Gesu, our school and parish for more than 15 years. Congratulations to our sweet Joe. He too inspires me every day with his never ending determination to excel and help out in any way that he can. He has maturity well beyond his years and will make us so proud at St. Ignatius. He is taking his math final right now, GO BRO! (as if he ever reads this) hahah


Today also marks the 3 year anniversary of the passing of my mom's only sister, Gayl, at the age of 53. Aunt Gayl was an extraordinary woman and a mother to all. Words simply do not do her justice... She means the world to my entire family. We miss her every single day and know that she is with us in all that we do.  I remember 3 years ago today was my Pass it On Mass, which happened to be the day before Gayl was going to fly in from Tacoma to visit and celebrate my graduation from Gesu. I had never been so excited to see anyone my whole life. The freak car accident that took her life that night turned my world upside down. I miss her everyday and think about Gayl's amazing daughter Bianca in Seattle, our family's rock. B we love you to infinity and back... missing Gayl today and everyday. She lives with us here, Emily likes to say that Aunt Gayl is the reason that she is recovering so quickly.


Aunt Gayl is surprisingly the reason that my Nonie, my mom's mother, is having gallbladder surgery today. She had been having stomach pains for quite some time and was admitted to the hospital yesterday.. turns out that she has gall stones. The reason that I think Aunt Gayl is the reason that she is having surgery today is because today was the all-day travel day for my Nonie and Papa to travel here from Seattle. If her stomach was going to flare up, we are so so so incredibly thankful that Nonie and Papa were not travelling. Pray for Eleanor today in surgery, and my incredible papa John in the waiting room. Their visit to celebrate Joe's graduation has been postponed... We can't wait.


As if all of this massive change and confusion is not enough, today I have my first meeting with the College Guidance Counselor. COLLEGE guidance. As if I have been thinking about college... honestly it stresses me out so much. Something like 9 days until summer vacation... thats all that I think about.


To finish on a solid note, John Mayer has been the obsession of me and my sister since we were 7. Everyday that he has dropped an album since then, Emily and I have made our favorite run to Target of all time running and screaming and grabbing the album and creating a scene. How I wish we could do that together today; his newest album titled "Born and Raised" dropped at midnight... another coincidence? Its just what we need right now. So thankful. Happy birthday to our dear, dear friend Sherri and a great day to all of you! We are holding up the fort best we can and me, especially, trying to clear my head and get through this last week of school. One of the tracks on John's newest album titled "Age of Worry" has lyrics that go something like this:


"alive in the age of worry,
smile in the age of worry,
go out in the age of worry,
and say worry, why should I care?"