All battles are won.

WOW it has been a long time since I posted, but I am sitting here, in my new apartment, back at school, starting my "jophomore" year as I like to call it (should be my junior year, but academically a sophomore) and some things just crossed my mind. Real quick: life is great, I am doing well, loving classes, my sorority, and starting a new job, my roommates and I always say "this is the happiest we have ever been!" Everything is so great right now, and I am very thankful. Kenz is at Villanova and loving the start of freshman year! That girl will rule the business world someday, and I can't wait to see how she conquers school! Joe is a sophomore at St. Ignatius back home in Cleveland, and working hard to come back to full activity and football after a nasty concussion. He's a trouper though, hopefully he will be good to go next week! Jane and Todd, the rents, are doing well. Mom is busy as JCU (homecoming is this weekend!) and Dad is working hard all the time. I miss my fam, but teamevans seems to be doing just fine right now.

So since I last posted, many things have changed. I had a rough end of the school year when I got some terrible news. My friend, who I fought Osteosarcoma with, passed away on May 5th, 2013. I was fortunate enough to be introduced to Cora on her very first day in S20 when she was diagnosed with the disease in her Humerus, or upper arm. It was August of 2012, she was about to start her senior year in high school and boy, she was a BEAUTIFUL girl. I'm not kidding, she was gorgeous, and our doctor wanted to introduce me because she was a cheerleader, too. I could tell she was caught off guard, and a little upset when I walked in the room but she kept a smile on her face the whole time. Your first day in the clinic isn't the greatest experience because you're forced into an unfamiliar place that you eerily know is associated with questions of mortality and an unfamiliar world of poisons, shots, and bald people. I am not kidding, I cried the first day in the doctors office when I saw other patients because I was scared and it didn't really hit me I would lose my hair too. It's just a weird feeling, like a foreshadowing into your future. 

Anyways, Cora and her incredible father, Brian, welcomed me and soon enough, I was hanging out with Cora whenever we were in the hospital together. M50 bonding, we loved it. We chatted for hours about our lives, boys, what we wanted to do, where she wanted to go to college, and I got to meet some of her amazing friends when they would visit her in the hospital. It was great, Cora, Ashly, and I, the three oldest girls on the floor became so close. When I went back to school, Cora and I would text often. She was hilarious, and we never talked about cancer which was funny. We would catch up on life and talk about the same old stuff, boys, school, she asked me how college was and we would get so excited planning our summer hang outs when I came home in the spring. She meant alot to me and I guess I meant alot to her in return. When I finished chemo, she posted this on her facebook, and it was the first time I realized how important our friendship was:

"When I was first diagnosed with cancer I met a girl named Emily Evans, my dr. told me I want you to meet her she cheered and has the same cancer you do, So when I saw her and talked a little and she left I told my dad it was good seeing her she looked good and healthy and she was so pretty and it gave me a heads up to what i had coming for me, so emily was in the hospital the same time i was this week and she came and visited me in my room and we talked and she told me that she had her last chemo and that she was completely done and going back to school in jan. she told me "cora, just wait for this day it is the best feeling ever" I have never had a true role model to look up to unless it was a family member but she is my true role model and I look up to her on so many levels, she went through everything i will be and ive never been so happy for someone! and she looks A M A Z I N G♥ Congrats Emily for beating cancer! YOU are my inspiration"

The last time I saw Cora was two days before her 18th birthday, two days before her tumor resection surgery. She was smiling and all too excited and nervous for her tumor to be removed! On her way to the hospital, she blasted "Safe and Sound" by Capital Cities. She never gave up hope. I could lift you up, I could show you what you want to see and take you where you want to be. You could be my luck, Even if the sky is falling down, I know that we'll be safe and sound." Cora's diagnosis from the beginning was a difficult one. It was much more aggressive and had already metastasized in her lungs when she was diagnosed. Cora fought a much harder battle than I ever had to, but not once did she question her mortality or life on Earth. She always kept her head held high and just approached life and the present truly as what it is; a gift. When one chemo wouldn't work, she would say, "alright, whats next?" Thats the kind of girl she was. Cora was my inspiration. On Sunday, May 5th, I was sitting in my friend Alex's dorm room with my other three best friends. We were all on high stress and it was the week of finals...emotions running wild. I saw a status from one of my Nurse friends and I said to my friends, "guys I think something is wrong on my floor (M50)." When I found out Cora had passed, I crumbled.

My family scrambled find out how to get me through finals, get me moved out of my dorm, and home for her funeral which took place on Friday, May 10th. At her funeral with my Dad closely holding onto me, I couldn't control myself. It was the first time I truly faced the mortality and seriousness of this disease. Cora hadn't told me she was sick, she and I talked the week before and she was still staying strong, that beautiful person she was. I couldn't stop looking at her casket, I couldn't stop picturing her, and it wouldn't process through my head she was actually gone. I was able to sit and talk with her best friends at the services and they mean so much to me still today. But I will never forget that feeling I had of just wanting one more day, one more day with her. We shared a bond and went through something not many people understand. I spiraled into somewhat of a dark time when all this was happening. I lost faith in God, I lost faith in life, I lost faith in myself. I was home for about 3 weeks just moping and hating life, so resentful that Cora was gone. I only admitted to my family and to my close friends, but for awhile I was praying I would get cancer again. I prayed to have God give it to me, I could handle it, don't give it to my friends, let me take it...truthfully I missed the routine of going to the hospital everyday and that being my only worry in the world. It took me a few weeks to move past all of it. 

Some people would say that Cora "lost her battle" to Osteo on May 5th, but that phrase couldn't be more wrong. Cora never lost. No one has ever lost a battle to cancer. The fight to the finish means she won, she won because she didn't let the disease take her spirit. She and all others who have gone before us won, no battles are lost. Cora is on my mind everyday and I proudly wear her bracelet to remind me of my special friend, the angel watching over me. Cora's life motto was "Hakuna Matata" which I'm sure you all know, "mean's no worries, for the rest of your days." It's nice to think about and it helps me stay centered when I get caught up in the mess of this beautiful world. 

I recently finished reading a book that just changed my perspective on life. If you are interested, please read "The Fault in Our Stars" by John Green. It is an amazing book and I don't want to give anything away, so that is all that I am going to say about it. I guess the point of this post is to ask you all to remember Cora, to remember all those who have WON their battles but have passed. And, of course, please remember all those still fighting. Rest in Peace, Cora. I miss you so much!
P.S. I love you too.