I am a cancer survivor.

This is it. November 16th, 2012, 7:30 pm, I finished my last dose of chemotherapy. 

I am a cancer survivor.

Reflecting

In February, I never imagined this day would come. I couldn't picture it for the life of me. I couldn't imagine what I would look like, if I would have a leg, where I would be, or what would be going on in my life. Honestly, I wasn't sure if this day would come. I am sitting in my room surrounded by pictures, cards, letters, gifts, thinking about everything that has happened in the last 9 months. On February 10th, my parents and I were thrown into a situation we had no control over, and it's been hard. The difficult times when my doctors didn't know what was going on, the times I've struggled and been extremely sick, and the happiest of moments like surprises, friends, and love.

That's what I have to be most thankful for through this whole journey, love. I have seen more love than I ever have in my life. Love and caring from friends, family, and complete strangers. I would not be where I am today if it hadn't been for that love. It has kept me going through all of this especially when I didn't want to keep going.

Tomorrow I am going to check into the hospital for the last time. I will be receiving my last treatment tomorrow and I am so grateful to be where I am. I am sitting here crying thinking about every moment, ever person, everything that has gotten me to this place and I can't express my gratitude enough. I can't believe this day is here. I've learned so much throughout this journey...patience, gratitude, and most importantly, how precious life is. I don't know why God has continued to bless me with life and to pull me through this one, but I will sure treat everyday like it is a gift. It truly is.

I am going to sleep tonight with the thought that tomorrow will be the close of one chapter of my life and the start of an extremely special one. An infinite amount of thanks goes to every one of you reading this because you have all helped me make it through this.

Goodnight and may God bless you all. The end is here and tomorrow evening, after my last bag of chemotherapy is taken down, I will be able to say that I am a cancer survivor.

Here's just a few pictures of this journey.

Almost there!!

Last night, my levels came back as I expected them to...too high. One of the problems that I face now that I am ALMOST DONE is that my body doesn't want to clear the chemo as fast, especially the Methotrexate which I received Friday night and will receive next friday for my LAST CHEMO.

So to help flush it out, we up'd my IV fluids and I have to keep drinking lots. I hope time continues to fly through this next week and I can get home for a few days before coming back friday. The medicine they give me called leucovoren helps by attaching itself to the Methotrexate to pull it out of my system. We will see if I need to receive it every three hours as opposed to my current 6. I will hopefully be out tomorrow but we will see! I just wanted to share some pics from the last few days...I've been looking through so many lately reminiscing on this journey because it is almost over!

These are pics I took of my computer watching my team at our home opener that I watched online. Great job to all my Bills!

(Dance in white, cheer in blue)

Here's my team! (Cheer)

This is Ashly, my amazing friend going through treatment with me! What a fighter she is. PS if you can't already tell -- Ashly sure is an example of how Bald is Beautiful!

This is Nicole, one of the PCNA's (she's been taking my vitals since day one!) Just saw her for the last time last night because she's not scheduled to work until I am done) Thanks for everything, beautiful. Going to miss you tons.

This is my wonderful friend Ross Martin who I took to my senior prom, greatest date! He is now the Kicker for the Duke football team and brought me an autographed ball. Thank you so much Rossy and thank your team! 

This journey has been long and it sure is weird to think it's almost done...no more hospital stays, blood draws, pain, suffering, and everything in-between. must say, this has truly showed me the greater things in life and how great and beautiful life is. 

2 W's

GREAT night tonight, posting from M50. Checked in this morning for chemo...weren't sure if my counts would be good enough, but I guess they were! I saw one of my surgeons in the cafeteria with my dad which was so fun. Clay is the man haha, we chatted for a little. I started pre-hydration around 1:30 pm and my 2nd-to-last chemo bag was hung at 6 pm and ran for 4 hours. My friend Ashly who is also here for treatment came and visited for a little while this evening, she looks fantastic as always and continues to bring a smile to my face :) It's fun having someone my age to relate to. 

I tuned in to watch my Saint Louis Billikens this evening to watch the home opener at Chaiftez, online! SO fun to see the guys and my Saintsations killing it out there. Boy, I so wish I was there, on the court and celebrating the win over USC Upstate. 

So...I would say that tonight has brought 2 W's for me, finishing my 2nd to last chemo and my Bills winning at home :) Gosh I miss St. Louis, can't wait to be back at school!!

the big news to report...right now I have post-chemo hydration for the next 4 days or so but since the chemo part has ended, I OFFICIALLY ONLY HAVE 

ONE MORE CHEMO LEFT. ONE. THE LAST ONE. NEXT FRIDAY. I'm crying just thinking about it.

So to end my wonderful evening, shout out to Billiken Basketball -- all you guys, it's going to be another great season! My Saintsations, you looked Fabulous out there, can't wait to join you soon!! my KD sistas...SLUperbowl tomorrow #4peat #letsgo #K∆Dynasty 

...and to all of you out there continuing to support me, love to you all. The battle is almost won. 

xoxo goodnight

Can't sleep

I've been reflecting on a lot of this tonight. It's almost over, thank God, but really it's been quite a journey. I'm going to be honest, Why me? Why does cancer exist?

I will never know, I just trust there is a bigger reason and plan out there. I am continually pushed to the limit, each week filled with it's own challenges but I guess that is what life is. Everyone has there challenges.

I was in the hospital most of last week for pain, the mouth sores were unreal. I guess I have to wait, so Friday I am going to try and check in for my 2nd last treatment.

Only 2 more. That doesn't even seem real.
Soon enough it will...I'm a lucky one.

Mom & Dad... " I can't swallow"

These were the words Emily said to us at 4:00 am on Wednesday, October 31.  Much has happened since Em's last post and now.  

She did her last in patient Dox IV treatment on October 23.  It went well and clearly, it is working, as she has experienced all of the effects to the maximum degree.  

As expected, about Day 8 to 11 from this dose, her blood is depleted.  So, this week, the timing of her treatment has produced some challenges.

Em had her stop in visit to S20 on Monday 10.29.12 to check her levels and they were low, again, as expected.  She was neutropenic, which means she has low resistance, and the "silver lining" in this is the fact the treatment and therapy is working.  She was given a flu shot at that visit and we spoke to the nurses about this with her ANC at only .35.    The risk of contracting the live flu was explained to be greater.  We knew that she was still on the way down in her numbers, so it was ride it out, and be careful.  We were not sure the timing was great this week for Emily as her body would be challenged enough without layering on another "thing".

We secured the house for Sandy storm, got candles ready and nestled in.  The rain came hard and lasted.  Em starting feeling bad on Tuesday, sore throat, tired.. the usual for these kind of days, so we started our Halloween with a scary announcement.  

Todd and Emily made there way to S20 to get going with pain management and check in with her numbers.  Her blood counts were lower, well and in some cateorgies... ZERO.  Yep, that therapy is working.

The toll it has taken is scary and we are still in the care of the doctors and team on M50.  Since she has had fever off and on, the full rotation of hard core antibiotics have been administered.  She has been in terrible pain... in her throat.  She has not been able to swallow.   She had three rotations of narcotics, none have which have provided great relief, just looped her.   Her time in the hospital has been to lay low, be sure an infection is not brewing anywhere, and get her jump started again in the white blood count column.

SO, we are here and rotating our time with her, enjoying RED the new T.Swift CD and movies.  Today is the first moment we have had to make a post to her blog and we have just learned that her ANC number has finally moved from the 0.0 position.... she is on the way back at .16.  This is not enough, but it is great news and provides us the proof that the body can heal itself.  Rest is HUGE right now and Em is losing patience with just "laying here".  The up tick in numbers mean Emily can finally get going in the healing department ... amen.

We know that this round of challenges has sent us back a few days in "THE PLAN".   Her doctors have said what we have repeated... It is far more important to get thru the final two treatments safely vs. what day of the week or month it is.   We are so close to the finish line, we can see it, but we are in slow motion. 

We have been so wrapped up in our own storm, that we have not seen too much of the Sandy coverage.  We did see the story on the NYU neonatal nurses and docs moving premature babies, 9 flights of steps, 6 people per baby, step by step, manually ventilating them in power outage, storm conditions.  Thank you to all of the doctors, Nurses and caregivers around the world....  the lasting effects of Sandy will be with us for some time, as even folks in CLEVELAND are still without power. The week has been interesting... a challenge to many... in many different ways.  

Em is sipping herbal tea...